WHO IS CORRECTING ME?
WHO IS CORRECTING ME?
A person usual begins his spiritual path after a great deal of suffering, possibly it is physical, psychological, emotional or a combination of these areas. Some require a great deal of suffering which catapults them into the spiritual path while others need very little. Some by the mercy of the Creator are simply born with a certain spiritual desire that seems to point them straight towards the creator at a very early age. However within every genuine seeker, lies a certain void within them that no thing in this world can fill. It is the search for a direct sensation of the Creator. They cannot be content with merely a belief or a theory that satifies the intellect.
Often there is a great deal of shame that appears within many people on the spiritual path. This desire and that desire appears within us, goes away for a week or two then pops back into your desires and thoughts full force. Certain shameful thoughts such as
” Oh no I should not be thinking about this I am spiritual know. What would God think.”
This usually leads to shame and then frustration. On a personal note I remember totally reacting out of anger towards my step daughter once and she responded to me by saying, ” I thought you were spiritual ? ” I later sat down with her in a calmer manner =) and informed her that she doesn’t see me always reading spiritual material because I am some Saint. I am constantly reading because I realize how far from correction I am.
So my point to this posting is simple. It is not us who will correct ourselves directly. It is the Creator who corrects us. We cannot correct ourselves, not even the smalliest aspect of ourselves. The Creator is not hiding from us until we become perfect by our own strenght and then we will merit Union with HIM. The correction of our souls is the work of the one who created it. So be honest with yourself and do not be ashamed of the negative aspects that surface within you. In fact it is good that you realize something is wrong and must change. Being spiritual is not being perfect, it is actually realizing that you are farthest from it. Then what are we to do?
As our efforts increase to fix ourselves with our own strenght and intellect we come to a state of spiritual confusion and exhaustion. We become very sad and frustrated that we seem to not advance, and infact feel sometimes that we are going backwards. However with time this only increases our own desire as we cannot escape this void that must be filled. More and more we enter states of spiritual highs only to again fall back into spiritual darkness. Only when you come to a state of despair and within your heart call out to the Creator will all of your passed effort bare fruit. However it is because you realize that only the Creator can help you. Your plea becomes a true prayer within your heart for the Creator to help you. You can realize that all your passed efforts and failures were necessary. It purified your intentions for correction. It expanded your desire for correction. It developed you need for the creator.
So remember that it is our desire and correct intention that invites the light of the Creator within us. It is the light that corrects us. So of course we make the efforts and try our best, but the ups and downs are normal. The dysfuntion within you is within all of us to certain degrees.
Since none of us have reached the final correction, we must accept with love other peoples flaws like they are your own. The only way we can unite is to go above all of our flaws and connect together in our desire for correction and the revelation of the Creator within of inner sensations.
By: Jason-John Swartz